You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
