Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
