He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize