i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
