I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
