Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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