After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
