Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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