So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Say something about gay babies.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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