I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
