I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
