You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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