I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Rumble strips road head = magical
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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