I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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