He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize