i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
