So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
