so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
