Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
