remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Randomize
