hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
