Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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