You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
