barbara walters just said penis...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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