I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
