He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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