it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
