Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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