I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
