idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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