How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
