my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize