Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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