Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
