I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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