when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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