Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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