If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
