They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
