Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
