Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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