i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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