hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
