i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
