Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
