Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i dont even know how to be here
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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