i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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