just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
