her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
