Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
