Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
