I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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