oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize