she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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