Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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