I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i drank out of a bidet.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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