apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
