he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
