I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Mom said you looked used
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
