Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
