she looked like the before picture.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
