Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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