You can't motorboat a personality
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
