We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
