You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
