Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
