fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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