So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
