I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
